If there was a simple answer, we’d likely have cracked the code to a billion-dollar question. While I don’t claim 100% mastery here, my own journey, as well as guiding others, has revealed ways to get closer to this desired state. Boiling down various methodologies, I’ve compiled a list of 20 unavoidable steps in rough order. It’s not an exhaustive guide. Think of it as a list of milestones you will surely come across.
The Must-Do List
- Be willing and ready: As my friend Hasan said, “Readiness is everything.” You must first be willing to change and truly ready to do it. The rest will follow quite naturally.
- Get to know yourself: Reflect. Get quiet and observe yourself. Meditate. Write a journal. Explore your likes and dislikes, as well as the origins of those preferences. Do they come from your inner desires or other people’s opinions?
- Get off your couch: And away from the screen, I should add. Go experience the world. Anything and everything, it doesn’t matter. You can’t build your integrity if you don’t experience yourself handling different situations. Try things out – smell, touch, taste, see, hear, walk, dance, get sweaty. Don’t talk – do.
- Accept it all: Embrace the good, the ugly, and the fears. Radical acceptance is the key. It doesn’t mean you ‘give up’ – you just surrender your resistance to truth and see things for what they really are.
- Find your energy sources: Identify what feeds you and what makes you feel alive. Stop energy leaks and find a reliable supply of healthy energy (that doesn’t cause hangovers or bad consequences).
- Address any health issues: Particularly, make sure you have a healthy microbiome and that your muscles get regular exercise. These two issues directly affect your energy levels and mood. Without them, you are swimming upstream.
- Practice gratitude: As you embark on your journey, gratitude will be your flashlight in darkness. But you need to actually turn it on, not just hold it and talk about it.
- Press the “Responsibility Button”: Step out of victim mode and take charge. This can be very scary, as there is practically no way to return to blissful ignorance afterward. This is your life and your job.
- Clear the junk: Release bad memories and old habits, but also extend it to cleaning your room or car. Remove anything obviously toxic or draining, whether junk food or a bad relationship. You see – now that you pushed the Responsibility Button, there are no more excuses and no blaming of circumstances. You can cringe and wiggle but you can’t run away anymore.
- Take care of yourself: Self-care doesn’t just mean a nice long bath. That’s basic hygiene. Taking time for yourself and maintaining a healthy lifestyle (to whatever degree you can muster) are obvious. Real self-care includes having clear boundaries and not allowing others to control your time, energy, talents and resources.
- Love yourself: Find the delicate balance between self-love and not being selfish. Understand your intrinsic worth and love yourself with all your warts. Then clean up your relationships. Reconsider your social life – which friends actually mean well and support you?
- Open your heart: I mean it quite literally. It’s a shift in your energy system, not just an issue of being kind to others. Expand your energy outward to connect to others. Learn to sense and work with energy. Cultivate empathy and compassion. Connectedness and empathy are the necessary fuses, ensuring you don’t hurt others with your power.
- Release deep old fears: Now that the basic stuff is out of the way, look at the things that still hold you back. You may uncover past-life memories and hidden traumas or overcome generational family patterns. Deep release is the springboard for all else.
- Forgive: Forgive yourself and others. You can’t force yourself to forgive, but it might come as a natural part of your healing at this stage.
- Trust your intuition: Until you clean up your inner landscape, you can’t really trust yourself much. Now, you can hear your soul’s tiny voice whispering guidance and opening your horizons. Learn to trust it even if it suggests crazy ideas. Act on it.
- Disregard social constructs: It’s not about what everyone else does or expects from you. Define your authentic values and lifestyle – and stand up for your beliefs.
- Know your value: Understand who you are and what you bring to the table. It’s likely not what you always thought it would be. It’s time to rely on your values and uncover your hidden talents. Embrace your uniqueness.
- Implement your potential: Take specific steps daily. Being “in the zone” is fun and being “in the flow” makes it easier, but you still must learn your craft (in whatever activity you choose) and have discipline. It will continue opening one door after another.
- Release new fears: Every higher level poses new challenges. You must now face your fear of success, visibility, responsibility for others, commitment, leadership, etc.
- Accept your power: Now you can align your soul’s guidance (all those discovered talents and desires) with your daily actions. The challenge is to realize just how amazing and powerful you are but not let it inflate your ego. Your identity (ego) should serve the soul, but ultimately, it does have autonomy – and you must learn to use it. Embrace and apply your free will. Have fun being who you truly are.
The Truth About Living in Alignment
Happiness, success, love, and all good things intensify the closer you are to this state. This much we know. There is logic to it. If you pay attention, you notice more opportunities. You are open to ideas but committed to action. Of course, that brings results. At the same time, people are drawn to those who emanate integrity. They give you chances and green lights precisely because you are aligned and standing in your power. Naturally, they prefer to deal with someone open, clear, confident, and trustworthy. It’s easier and less risky for them.
That said, there’s also a more magical component that’s hard to explain—divine timing, acceleration and lucky coincidences. The flow. With experience, you begin to trust that help from the Universe will come because, if you did your part, somehow it always does. If it doesn’t, it’s always a clear sign that you are somehow out of alignment and so you go back to the drawing board.
Alignment feels so natural that people mostly notice it only when they slip out of it. In the beginning, that happens a lot. You just need to get back on the horse and try again. But even famous coaches and gurus experience times when they get busy or under pressure, stop paying attention, and the lucky coincidences dry out. Nobody is perfect! But these moments happen less often as you develop and become recognizable much earlier. They are no longer a drama or a sense of feeling lost. If life throws you off course, you look for lessons and direction. You also accept the unpleasant shifts to the next level when you may have to leave something old behind. It’s now familiar.
Going to the Next Level
As your capacity and capability grow, so do your challenges. The world tends to give you a bigger load precisely because you can now handle it. The esoteric circles are full of big words like “alignment with the universe” and “flow of harmony.” Having been through the back door of that industry, I can tell you that even the most Zen people don’t have ‘all their needs’ met, simply because our needs expand as we grow. Each level requires a different toolkit.
But all that hard work pays off through adaptability, resilience and faster recovery. You gain the ability to expand and change while enjoying the journey. That part is fun. Knowing who you are lets you see who you could become – and that’s the real magic.
Image by harald heuser from Pixabay